2 min read

5 Questions Your Cat Would Ask If They Could Talk


Written by Adam Lee-Smith

Veterinary reviewed by:

Published: 01/07/2022, edited: 01/07/2022


Cat got your tongue? January 22 is National Answer Your Cat's Question Day, so there's no better time to find out what questions our tiny tigers would ask if they could. 

There are over 80 million pet cats in the United States, meaning over 1 in 4 households are left wondering what their feline friend is thinking. Curious about your cat's behavior? Here are 5 questions your cat could ask if they could talk!

"Can you feed me now?"

For sure, the first question that would come out of your cat's mouth is, "Can you feed me now?" While cats aren't as food motivated as dogs, they still love to chow down on their favorite kibble! 

Trying to explain mealtimes to a cat would be impossible, and you'd probably end up in a long debate with Simba about snacking. All I can say is, as a cat parent, I sure am glad my cat can't speak!

gray cat meowing

"Why do you put that nasty liquid on my coat once a month?"

Cats don't understand day-to-day healthcare, so they'd probably ask why you put a nasty liquid between their shoulder blades once a month. Your cat would undoubtedly love to lick it off, but it's just out of reach! 

It's hard to explain to a cat why they need monthly flea treatments. That said, showing them a picture of these nasty parasites would probably shut them up! If you're struggling with the cost of monthly flea treatments for your cat, consider taking out a wellness add-on to make life a little easier on your wallet. 

"Why can't I use the couch as a scratching post?"

Just bought an expensive leather couch? You can bet Felix will sink their claws into it! If your little lion could speak, they'd probably ask why they can't scratch on your couch. 

"Unfurtunately", it would be hard to explain to a feline why you don't want them to ruin your couch. Be sure to keep plenty of scratching posts around your home so your cat doesn't wonder about the answer to this question!

"Why do you keep petting me while I'm having a bath?"

All pet parents with a feline fur-baby know it's tough not to pet their cute kitty round the clock. If your cat is licking themselves, they probably won't appreciate being petted. 

Most cats don't need to bathe in water often, and licking their fur is the cat equivalent of a nice soak in a tub! Plus, cats often lick themselves to soothe themselves and get rid of odors left behind by mucky human hands. Avoid petting your puss during bathtime to avoid quizzical looks from your little lion. 

black and white cat meowing

"Why are you such a big, hairless, clumsy cat?"

Unlike dogs, cats don't necessarily understand that we're a different species. According to research, cats don't change their behavior around humans like dogs. Instead, they just treat us like big clumsy cats that trip over from time to time. 

So, if your cat could ask questions, they'd probably have an existential query about why you're so different from your run-of-the-mill feline. Thankfully, we don't have to explain this one! In this case, curiosity would certainly confound the cat.

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