Introduction
While Kurt Vonnegut only gave himself a “C” grade for Breakfast of Champions, it still remains one of his best known and most influential works, coming right on the heels of his seminal book, Slaughterhouse-Five. In it, Vonnegut amasses a massive roster of unique characters, each with their own off-the-wall idiosyncrasies that have largely helped to define the author’s work. Because of it, Breakfast of Champions, as well as the rest of Vonnegut’s roster of novels and short stories, makes for perfect dog-naming fodder, as fans will have no problem picking out the one-of-a-kind titles he consistently attributes to each character.
Breakfast of Champions Inspired Dog Names in Pop Culture
Kurt Vonnegut’s work has been lauded since his first and one of his most important works, Slaughterhouse-Five, hit shelves back in 1969 — though in retrospect, he received much praise for his earlier work as well, including the timeless Cat’s Cradle. In his work, through direct characters or indirectly through references, Vonnegut has always used animals as a means of comparison to human beings and was thus always able to make grand statements about the elements of our existence. In fact, one of his most famous quotes, “Life is no way to treat an animal,” graces the headstone of his fictional science fiction author Kilgore Trout.
In Breakfast of Champions, Vonnegut again uses animals, namely dogs, as vehicles to create meaningful analogies — although it could be argued that Bill, Trout’s parakeet, served a similar purpose. One of the two most important and impactful dogs in the story is Dwayne Hoover’s Labrador retriever named Sparky. Like most of Vonnegut’s other characters, Sparky certainly has a unique background. After an automobile accident years before, Sparky lost the ability to wag his tail and thus, tell other dogs how truly friendly he really was. Because of it, he constantly found himself in scraps with other canines, leaving his ears tattered and his body lumpy with scars — a perfect companion for a human who suffers similar misunderstanding in his own life. Although the book is littered with characters Dwayne is familiar with, Vonnegut states that Sparky is one of Dwayne’s only true friends, as his wife, Celia, had taken her own life years before.
But Sparky isn’t the only dog to provide meaning in the book. The other is likely familiar to readers of Vonnegut’s previous and latter books: Kazak, who also appears in Sirens of Titan and Galapagos. In Breakfast of Champions, Kazak’s role is brief but purposeful. During the book’s epilogue, Vonnegut, the book’s assumed narrator, is actually attacked by Kazak, a vicious Doberman Pinscher. But despite the dog’s disposition, Vonnegut uses him as a vehicle explaining the dynamic between people and animals, as well as each other. It is detailed that Kazak was actually looked after by the husband of Dwayne’s maid (Lottie Davis), who was cruel to the dog before finally cutting him loose to roam. Vonnegut, the self-aware narrator even goes so far as to describe the attack in scientific terms instead of emotional ones, furthering his case that humans are more machines than most anything else.
Breakfast of Champions Inspired Dog Name Considerations
If you’re a fan of the book, which is likely why you’re here, the dog-naming process will certainly be a fun one, but that doesn’t mean it will be easy. To find a truly perfect name, like Vonnegut has done time and time again with his own characters, your best bet is to assemble a short list of your dog’s most prominent traits, as it will prove to be a great shortcut when comparing to our list.
For starters, consider your dog’s own idiosyncrasies. For example, if your dog always howls at the piano, then Bunny, after Dwayne’s son, the Holiday Inn pianist, would be a great pick. If your dog tends to get along much better with women than men, then the names Cyprian and Ukwende would both be good names. If your dog absolutely loves chicken soup, then the names Delmore and Skag would be humorous. If they love to sit and sneakily watch people, the names Eldon and Robbins would be suitable.
There are plenty of different directions you can go, from using specific iconic objects or locations to comparing unique attributes or quirks of the book’s characters to your dog like we’ve done above, so feel free to be as creative as you can be. For a refresher, reading the book again can’t hurt either.
Male Breakfast of Champions Inspired Dog Names
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Cohen
After Abe Cohen, the jeweler with the strange commentary on Mary Alice Miller
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Bill
Kilgore Trout's theme-laden fish
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MacMahon
After Bonnie MacMahon, who has the same bad joke every time she serves Dwayne
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Hoover
After the Hoover family, some of the story's main characters
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Delmore
After Delmore Skag, one of Trout's characters, a scientist with strange theories
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Skag
After Delmore Skag, who has a thing for chicken soup
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Dwayne
After Dwayne Hooper, the protagonist of the story
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Eddie
After Eddie Key, the driver of the mobile disaster unit
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Eliot
After Eliot Rosewater, the eccentric millionaire
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Pefko
After Francine Pefko, who is in love with Dwayne
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Barry
After Fred T. Barry, the chairman of the arts festival
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Wilbur
After Harold Newcomb Wilbur, a decorated veteran
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Harry
After Harry LaSabre, Dwayne's boss/sales manager
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Kazak
The Doberman Pinscher who attacks the narrator
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Kilgore
After Kilgore Trout, the science fiction writer who plays an important role
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Lyle
After Lyle Hoover, one of the owners of the Sacred Miracle Cave
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Young
After Mary Young, the oldest member of Midland City
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Milo
After Milo Maritimo, the young desk clerk at the Holiday Inn
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Lingamon
After Ned Lingamon, the crazy veteran
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Newbolt
After Newbolt Simmons, the County Commissioner of Public Safety
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Simmons
After Newbolt Simmons, who connects with Dwayne because of the similarities between their former wives
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Karabekian
After Rabo Karabekian, whom the narrator despises
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Sparky
Dwayne Hoover's Labrador Retriever
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Vernon
After Vernon Garr, the mechanic at the Pontiac dealer
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Garr
After Vernon Garr, whose wife may be schizophrenic
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Hoobler
After Wayne Hoobler, who wants to work at the Pontiac dealership
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Champion
After the book's title
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Midland
After Midland City, Ohio, the location of the story
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Philboyd
After Philboyd Studge, the name Vonnegut gives himself
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Female Breakfast of Champions Inspired Dog Names
Votes | Name | Vote |
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Lieber
After Andy Lieber, the driver of the car Kilgore hitchhikes in
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Keedsler
After Beatrice Keedsler, the Gothic novelist in the story
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Bonnie
After Bonnie MacMahon, the waitress who serves martinis as the "breakfast of champions"
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Bunny
After Bunny Hoover, Dwayne's son, the pianist of the Holiday Inn cocktail lounge
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Cyprian
After Cyprian Ukwende, the intern at the County Hospital
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Ukwende
After Cyprian Ukwende, who has a love for women
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Breedlove
After Don Breedlove, one of the story's antagonists
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Miller
After Don Miller, Mary Alice's father
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Key
After Eddie Key, apparently a direct descendent of Francis Scott Key
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Eldon
After Eldon Robbins, the dishwasher at the Holiday Inn
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Robbins
After Eldon Robbins, the one who likes to watch customers
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Rosewater
After Eliot Rosewater, who spends $18,000 tracking down Trout
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Francine
After Francine Pefko, Dwayne's secretary and mistress
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Gloria
After Gloria Browning, the cashier of the service department
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Browning
After Gloria Browning, who covers for Francine
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Newcomb
After Harold Newcomb Wilbur, the bartender at the Holiday Inn
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LaSabre
After Harry LaSabre, who is hiding a secret
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Khashdrahr
After Khashdrahr Miasma, Cyprian's unhelpful assistant
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Miasma
After Khashdrahr Miasma, who doesn't tolerate criticism
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Trout
After Kilgore Trout, who has a cult following but believes he is nothing
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Lottie
After Lottie Davis, Dwayne's servant
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Davis
After Lottie Davis, who likes but doesn't speak to Dwayne much
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Alice
After Mary Alice Miller, the famed swimmer
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Maritimo
After Milo Maritmo, who has read all of Trout's work
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Keene
After Patty Keene, the waitress at the Burger Chef
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Phoebe
After Phoebe Hurty, whom Vonnegut dedicates the book to
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Hurty
After Phoebe Hurty, the impolite optimist
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Rabo
After Rabo Karabekian, the minimalist painter
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Pontiac
The type of car Dwayne sells
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Wheatie
After Wheaties, the cereal Vonnegut took "Breakfast of Champions" from
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Martini
The drink that is called the "Breakfast of Champions"
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